just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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