If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
