I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
