Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
