I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
