If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
