Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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