at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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