Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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