I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
