Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
