Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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