Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just cropdusted the office
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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