hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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