remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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