I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
