you guys were way drunker than both of me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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