He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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