they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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