Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
