She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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