He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
