My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize