I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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