Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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