Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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