Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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