Capitaan dildo arrescate!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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