jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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