Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
two words: eviction party
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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