There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
