The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
