Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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