Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
