Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
