remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
