I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If I had your ass I would rule the world
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
