So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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