do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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