Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
