@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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