I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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