Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
