I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I believe in your delicious
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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