i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
