Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
