Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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