My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
