Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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