Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
