that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
