Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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