i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
