There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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