She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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