too bad you live with your parents still
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
