Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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