then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
