grandma shit on top of the toilet
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
that is very illegal...i love you.
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