I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
