she woke up with a sticky ear
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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